I should have guessed that this card would appear today, following yesterday’s card. The Queen of cups is the mom card for me. She is compassionate, caring and nurturing. The Queen of cups has complete mastery over her emotions, which is to say that she is capable of feeling the depth and width of her emotions yet leaving room for the other for theirs.
Our relationship with our partner / spouse is a reflection of our relationship with our mothers. While it is true that women marry men who have shades of their fathers and men marry women with shades of their mothers, the relationship itself follows the pattern of our relationship with mom.
One of the things that has been showing up for me is fairy tales. Think about what your favourite fairy tale was while growing up. if not favourite then the one you remember the most or were affected by, the most. These are the subtle subconscious cues that can tell us how we really feel deep down. The ugly duckling (my favourite fairy tale as a child) is the story of not belonging and then finally finding your place. The sleeping beauty is the story of waiting, beauty is lying in stasis for charming to come to her. I had put a link in yesterday’s post about the interrupted reaching out movement and that is the story of waiting. Another story is beauty and beast which is about seeing on one aspect of another person (of mom). It can be that you think or catch yourself saying “my mother is strong woman” and yes, she is, but she is also vulnerable at times, she is also prone to stress and anguish and fear like the rest of us. She is multifaceted and multidimensional and sometimes we forget that. She can be emotional but she can also be strong. We often try to protect her from stuff that’s going on in our lives but we don’t need to. This act of protecting her is a barrier that cause and reinforces separatedness.
The same goes for our partners. Which fairy tale are you re-living here? Do you feel like you don’t belong there (and it could well be that you don’t want to belong there), is it that you are waiting for something? or do you just see a single facet of the other. This message is for you to look at something that needs to be seen. It isn’t to judge or criticize, just to be seen, with compassion and kindness.